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Anxiety in pregnancy during the pandemic

Pregnancy & birth

13 Feb

Lets face it, parenting is tough right now! Mothers and mothers to be have been dealt a pretty rough deal during all of this, with ongoing restrictions, new measures, closures of almost everything that provided that face to face support and connection, home birth services suspended with no date in sight on when the service might be reinstated (now re instated btw). Plans and wishes have had to be adjusted and changed over and over again and it's just not fair really, you deserve better. To say that the pandemic has drastically changed the landscape of birth and motherhood would be an understatement, of course the measures where put in place for your safety but that doesn't mean that they are not without great sacrifice, the ongoing restrictions in birth and beyond are taking a tole on the emotional and spiritual health of so many.

I am not here to deny you emotion, your feelings are real, legitimate and important. Anxiety is a completely normal response to a perceived threatening situation and it's completely normal to be feeling anxious and stressed right now. I definitely do not subscribe to toxic positivity, no one has to remember that there are worse off out there, be grateful for what they do have or deny any part of their authentic humanness. Negative feelings are just as valid as the positive and suppression is not helpful at all. Give yourself space for compassion, the tips below are just that, tips to help you practice a little more self kindness. You deserve so much more right now and to at least feel a little more in control.

  • Avoid constant news updates, assign your birth partner or trusted friend or family member the job of giving you ESSENTIAL updates.
  • Reach and and ask for support. I cannot stress this enough, your care team are there to support you and want to be there for you. Request as much phone and zoom contact as you need with your midwives, if you're unsure it's always worth asking. Consider hiring a doula, reach out to supportive friends and family. Join facebook groups and online support groups that you feel help you or provide some kind of needed connection. Although physical connection is limited right now there are still so many people that are there to offer support should you need it. You are not alone.
  • Be kind to yourself! Know that your emotions are normal, do not judge yourself or be hard on yourself for your humanness. These feelings are just that, feelings, they are not you, they are not your fault, they are just feelings.
  • Practice being present. What I mean by this is that if you catch yourself running away with a negative thought pattern like 'what if...' Take a deep breath, have a little shake and focus on something in the present. Really notice it, something you can control. Maybe a pregnancy affirmation colouring sheet, notice the process, the sound of the pencil on the paper and do not judge yourself if you become distracted, simply bring your self back to the process.
  • Distraction If you find that negative thoughts are beginning to feel overwhelming find a simple, soothing activity. Keep it simple and self nurturing, a little craft, colouring page, baking, your favorite show or indulge in a little joyful movement. I do love a quick kitchen boogie!
  • Focus on your whole well being. Take active steps to be well. Establish good sleep habits as much as you can, drink plenty of water throughout the day, eat well, protect your energy, this is as important as any other part of your health. Avoid people that raise your anxiety or lower your mood, I know it's not always simple so start small, mute/ unfollow unhelpful or triggering social media contacts. Practice doing NOTHING for just two minutes, just focus on a breathing exercise and when it gets easy up the time by just one minute. Make notes of the activities and tools that sooth and nurture you and make a point of practicing little and often.
  • Connect on a deeper level with your pregnancy. It's easy to get caught up in the stress of the pandemic and forget to make time to honour this sacred time. Start simple, build a little altar and practice connecting here, lay your hands on your bump and send your baby love. Add beautiful, positive things to it, crystals, affirmations, things from nature, things that make you happy. Add a daily/ weekly card to it  for guidance or inspiration. This is something that can be either for pregnancy or for motherhood. Meditate here, do yoga here or just focus on the beauty and practice breathing and being still here.

Treat yourself to the mothers wisdom deck or any lovely card deck that you're drawn to. Connect with other mothers however you can, connect with people that make you feel good and so no to people and things that don't. Trust your inner wisdom and intuition. You know yourself, your baby and your body better than anyone.

Create a vision board or mandala for birth. This is a simple way to tap into your inner wisdom and something that can be added to over time.

You can't control every stressor in life but some you can. I hope some of these tips help you find a little more self compassion in your life and remember that you are not alone.

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❤️ Family birth ❤️ These siblings woke jus ❤️ Family birth ❤️
These siblings woke just in time to kiss and so tenderly comfort their mother @noabere as she birthed their new babe earth side. They calmly joined her in the water after she invited them, dad crouched poolside and they all met baby lovingly together. Such a sacred and precious experience! 
Some worry that children might be traumatised by witnessing birth but here you can see how normalising birth and building a calm supportive environment created the family birth that this mother wished for. 
This birth was a good example of how normalising birth benefits everyone! Almost every aspect of our early childhood development is affected by environment and experience, and how we feel in it. Imagine what birth culture might look like if more of us where invited to share in well supported positive births as children. So much of our early exposure comes from dramatised birth from Popular film and tv, none of it featuring siblings and none of it particularly positive. How we view birth matters so much. 
It’s not for everyone of course, there are many ways to birth and none are the right way unless they feel right for you and your family. We know our children and their temperaments and whether having them with us during this life event suits. 
If you are considering involving your children in the birth of a sibling here are some ways to prepare 
❤️ Involve them in your birth prep. Educate them and share with them as much as you feel you need to. Reassure them about noises they might hear and what they might see if they choose to share the birth space. 
❤️Watch you tube videos and read together. The book birth in focus is always popular with children. 
❤️ Have a good support team around you and a plan for moments that they may need attention. Make roles clear beforehand so that your partner doesn’t feel torn between who to be present for. 
❤️plan for alternatives. Make childcare plan options for with phone numbers included. You may birth during school/ nursery hours, who knows. It’s always good to have options! 

#familybirth #homebirth #birthingathome #birthinfocus #sacredbirth #birthwithlove #positivebirth #waterbirth
❤️ Placenta encapsulation ❤️ I’m always ❤️ Placenta encapsulation ❤️
I’m always in awe of the amazing placenta. Whether you choose to honour yours with a beautiful burial ceremony like the one I discussed today, or benefit from its magic through consuming I’m just always in love with them. 
The transformation of the placenta and returning home to source is a process that always feels so special. 
Here are 126 capsules of power. 
#placenta #placentaencapsulation #placentaremediesnetwork #placentalove #postnatalnutrition #postnatalhealing
At 1st glance you might see a messy patch of weeds At 1st glance you might see a messy patch of weeds but Stream side and various patches of my garden are left quite deliberately and lovingly wild, especially this time of year. From the nettle, dandelion, wild garlic, mugwort and so many more gifts from the ground, trees and hedgerow my postnatal pantry is abundant with dried and fresh gifts! 
Today I’m making a couple of dandelion, wild garlic and spinach feta filo pie. Every part of the dandelion is edible and amazing in its gifts including  the powerful root which I dry. I may add some more greens I find for these newborn mothers. 
I’m also gathering cleavers, fennel and nettle tops to my water today but keep becoming inspired/ distracted by the flowers they beg to be noticed and other plants that keep revealing themselves 😆
I believe that we have so much to learn and re claim from the plants around us, I also believe that they want us to unlock their gifts. 
Today I’ll be gathering and lovingly preparing postnatal nourishment in the form of placenta, garden and kitchen magic. Lucky me! 
If you don’t already and if you have a moment I invite you to spend a little time getting to know your local edible weeds. I’m most grateful to nettle today another humble and abundant bit of magic💖
#eatmoreweeds #giftsfrommotherearth #plantmagic #greenwitch #postnatalhealing #doula #plants #herbalremedies #thefirst40days #the4thtrimester
Just because she carries it well doesn’t mean it Just because she carries it well doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy ❤️
Posted @withregram • @lrknost This is one of the most powerful images I've seen, by the absolutely brilliant @noellemirabellaphotography
It speaks volumes about the story of our lives. We are not alone mammas. 💛🌻 #loveandrage
via @thegentlemamma
.
‘Just Because She Carries It Well Doesn't Mean It Isn't Heavy’ “I have been sitting here trying to find the words to pair with this image.... writing them out.... rewriting them. Deleting whole pages and starting over. All that remains is the lump in my throat.

This image was inspired by my life as a woman and a young single mother. I do not want to break down every detail for you. You can find the story, whatever it means to you. ❤️
I wrote Ward Churchill to ask if I could use the spine of his book, Agents of Repression, in the image to help tell the story. He agreed, and only asked that I send him a digital copy when it was complete. I did, and this was his response.
.
‘Absolutely beautiful image. Many thanks for sending.

Love & Rage,
Ward’

Love and rage, love and rage, love and rage..... Those words brought tears to my eyes and sent chills down my spine.... Like poetry for my soul. I thought to myself, he gets it. That was all I needed in that moment. A quiet nod of understanding.

That being said, my soul does not feel quiet. It is on fire, and so full of life. It wants to tell stories and change the world one photo at a time. So, here I am, and I am just getting started. ❤️ I entered this into our Canadian national image competition and it scored an excellence. ❤️It is a single image capture. I hung everything from the ceiling and wired it in place. There are hidden messages throughout the entire image. It is a work of art that I am most proud of. It is not just my story, but the story of billions of women around the world.”
@noellemirabellaphotography ❤️
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🌻Peaceful Parenting Resources: Link in bio🌻
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Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 L.R.
❤️Raw brownies, a simple but decadent feeling ❤️Raw brownies, a simple but decadent feeling birth room snack for the goddess and of course those serving her! These are nutrient dense, heart opening and very pretty. I delivered a box of these to my client today as they are pretty date-full and you know, ‘dates for dates’ and all that, not that we believe in due dates here! 
I lOVE energy bites and all their wonderful variations but I can’t always be bothered to stand there for ages shaping those little balls of goodness and you just can’t beat chocolate really can you. Energy slices are so much quicker and that’s basically what this raw brownie is. 
Very few ingredients, very little time or effort but lots of love go into these. 
❤️Ingredients 
2 cup pecan or walnut 
4 tbsp cacao
4 cup dates 
3tbsp maple syrup (optional)
70g dark chocolate (optional) 
❤️Method 
Put cacao and pecans in blender and blitz until fine 
Add the dates and maple syrup 
Blitz until sticky 
Press into a lined square cake tin and put into the freezer for a couple of hours. 

❤️This part is totally optional, you can simply dust with cacao ready to serve or; melt the dark chocolate or make your raw chocolate and pour on top. I like to sprinkle a little sea salt and rose petals. put in fridge until ready to slice and serve. Cut small squares for feeding a labouring mother. 
These are also great energy for postnatal days too. 
#datesfordates #rawbrownie #birthroom #duedates #cacao #rawvegan #vegantreats #postnatalnutrition #birthdoula
It’s an oaty day in the postnatal pantry kitchen It’s an oaty day in the postnatal pantry kitchen! Cookies and flapjacks are filling the space and the kitchen smells amazing. I have one row of caught cookies though 😫I really should have learned by now but I’m sure even the most avid baker falls prey to the multi batch complacency curse! 
I feel that it’s always important to learn your ovens quirks if you bake a lot and adjust your approach accordingly. As you can see the slightly uneven heat distribution of mine catches my cookies on one side if I forget to rotate them half way through the baking process. I rotate my cakes too. This issue seems exclusive to the 2nd batch onwards! 
Never mind I’ll eat back row of this tray before the day is out! 
#lactation #lactationcookies #baking #cookies #thefourthtrimester #postnataldoula #bakefail #cookiedough #postnatalrecovery
Fertility rites and blossom trees. Today is St Geo Fertility rites and blossom trees. Today is St George’s day which reminds me of a sweet tradition involving blossom trees and sexy nightdresses. I won’t be taking part as I don’t need to be absorbing the fertile power of the tree, my birthing days are done! 
It’s been gorgeous watching this crab apple  tree gradually blossom over the weeks though, I look forward to the blossom in my garden every year, each time i meet it like I’ve never seen them before. Fruit bearing trees have long symbolised fertility and renewal and have been an important part in so many rituals and ceremony around fertility and birth. 
🌸In Yugoslavia they where the object of a fertility rite honoured the night before St George’s day in which women would place their chemise over a fruit bearing blossom tree. In the the morning she would take it off the tree and put it on herself in the hope that some of the trees powers would transfer to her. 
🌸 In Ancient Rome women would gather under fig trees in honour of goddess Juno and invite fertility by having a mock fight, beating fertility into each other. What a sight that would have been! 
🌸 In northern India women met under a sacred palm to collect a coconut. The coconut, a ‘god fruit’ would be placed in a bowl representing the womb and the coconut itself representing life that bestows fertility. 
There are so many beautiful rituals across the world associated with blossom, fruit and nut bearing trees. #blossom #fertility #fertilityritual #ritual #fertilityrites #sacredpregnancy #sacredfeminine #giftsfrommothernature #birth
Cocoon of life ~ Kalyan Varma This is the the see Cocoon of life ~ Kalyan Varma 
This is the the seed of the Andaman redwood. Only slightly larger than a coin and very delicate. The photographer wanted us to look closely, wonder what we might be seeing before realising, and then marvelling at the intricacies of nature on viewing this picture. We birth geeks will of course immediately see the similarities to the placenta and know that picture contains the code to life. 
For me this picture has been a reminder that we do not simply live alongside nature, we ARE nature, see how similar this is to our placenta. these wise seeds designed to be carried on the wind. 
My doula work and big passion for birth usually lets me see birth imagery in a LOT of things but this is unmistakable, a beautiful placental image and a reminder to respect and marvel at the gifts around us, if we look there it is. The cocoon of life indeed. 
You. Are. Nature ❤️
#birthimagery #naturephotography #cocoonoflife #placenta #birth #birthgeek #wearenature #giftsfrommotherearth #nature #naturelover #sacredlife #earthday

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