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Your birth story matters, but you don’t owe it to everyone

4th trimester & motherhood· Pregnancy & birth

17 Dec

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you ~ Maya Angelou

A healthy baby is all that matters right?

Wrong! Of course a healthy mother and baby are the ideal outcome, but it's not all that matters. You matter, your experience matter, how you feel and how you felt matters. Your truth matters,  every mother matters and I want every one to know that.

Every story has something to offer, something to teach and someone to reach. Your story will resonate with a mother out there searching for just that truth. When we meet each other at heart level and when we share in a safe space it empowers us to heal deeply. Whether your birth was traumatic and intense or positive and empowering it matters. Every mother matters and every story matters. Every story deserves to be heard, the C section mother, the Vbac mother, the NICU mother, the plus size mother, the fast and powerful birther... you get my point, every mother deserves for her her voice, birth and whole experience to be valued.

An important thing to stress and something that I feel quite passionately about is that you don't owe you story to everyone. It's important to share your story in a safe and held space and with people that you feel will receive, respect and honour it without judgement, people that will not tell you that a healthy baby is all that matters or anything else that negates your experience. Just because someone asks for your birth story it doesn't mean you owe it to them. A simple answer that has proved effective for me is I'm actually still processing it but thanks for asking. This goes for your experience of new motherhood too. You deserve to tell the truth about your life and to live your life in your truth, by doing so you inspire others to do the same but must feel safe to speak your truth. This applies to sharing your story out loud or online, in my opinion even writing your story alone calls for a safe quiet space with minimal interruption.

A birth story is so much more than simply the process of how your baby arrived into the world as per our birth notes. It's one of surrender, transformation, pain, joy, vulnerability, trust, love and more, so much more! Your birth is a rite of passage like no other. It's the opening of a transformative chapter into motherhood be it baby number 1, 2, 3 or more. It has the ability to connect you to an amazing collective of women, all of which have the ability to become unlikely teachers, friends and dare I say it a new found sisterhood. When we openly share and connect in this truthful way we empower and inspire each other and ultimately improve birth. Stories teach us about life, about each other and about ourselves. Story telling is an important and ancient tool, connecting us both to our past (ancient and immediate) and provides us with lessons for the future. Basically story telling is built into us.

 

Share in a way that feels safest, healthiest and most authentic to you. I express my truest voice through art as words don't come naturally to me. You don't have to put a positive spin on your birth, you don't have to be a great writer or artist, your birth could be fresh or it could have been years even decades. It's the process and how it makes you feel that matters most.

One more time, speak this out loud for yourself and let it echo energetically to the collective motherhood Our stories matter!

Places to share your story:

  • positive birth, find your local groups or share online  https://www.positivebirthmovement.org/
  • Tell me a good birth story http://www.tellmeagoodbirthstory.com/
  • invest in the wonderful book by Jamie Fieres 'Why writing about your birth matters'
  • Or for something a little special, contact me to discuss having a personal piece of art created to honour you birth story https://thebirthgem.co.uk/birth-art-mandala-and-belly-painting/

 

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Belly bump cakes, birth art, flower baths and more Belly bump cakes, birth art, flower baths and more. This work week has been so full and gorgeous, lucky me that this is my life! 💖
So yesterday I had to re centre myself and remake a belly bump cake with iced mandala which means my family will have to work their way through the unusual treat of a ruined belly bump cake... lucky them, it’s going to take a while to get through! 😆 
This cake will be on its way to @eva_shamanic_doula this morning to join her in a mother’s blessing complete with handmade ivy circlet. 
💖Enjoy the cake beautiful ones 💖
#mothersblessing #blessingway #sacredpregnancy #doula #mandalacake #vegancake #motherlove #birthmandala #redthread
❤️ Thaw ❤️ Over the land freckled with sno ❤️ Thaw ❤️
Over the land freckled with snow half - thawed 
The speculating rooks at their nests cawed 
And saw from the elm-tops, delicate as flower of grass, What we below could not see, Winter pass. 
🌱I’m not sure about you but I’ve never looked forward more than I have done this winter! The approach of Spring always brings with it optimism but this year it has a whole different energy to it. As I walked today I noticed the signs of new growth, so much beauty to be appreciated. The colours, subtle, vibrant and just so much potential. I thought about the energy and life stored in the seed, so quiet yet powerful and full of potential. A fertile void creating it’s magic just below the soil in the dark, much like in our inner own winters. Of course I couldn’t help but think of birth! How lucky I am to witness and be a part of one of nature’s most miraculous cycles, a most sacred reminder that we do not just live among nature. We are nature. 
Our true nature is ever changing, what is blossoming for you right now? What are you looking forward to? #sacredbirth #innerseasons #spring #wearenature #birthdoula #doulauk #motherhood #blossom #sacredfeminine #nurturenature #whispersfrommotherearth #walksinnature
Pie is one of the most perfect postnatal meals to Pie is one of the most perfect postnatal meals to gift. So much goodness can be encased in a buttery pastry crust! 
One of today’s pies is 
💖Scandi inspired salmon pie 
Ingredients:
400g - 500 salmon fillet cubed 
1tsp, pepper, salt, fennel seed, caster sugar
3rsp fresh chopped dill
120 Pearl barley cooked 
1 small diced red onion
Juice of lemon 
150g wilted spinach leaves 
100g chopped sundried tomatoes 
140g creme fraiche 
2tsp whole grain mustard 
1 pack puffed pastry or homemade 
💖 Method 
Put diced salmon in bowl with pepper, salt, fennel, sugar, half the dill. 
Cook and strain the Pearl barely and wilt the spinach, set aside. Put the onion in a bowl with the lemon juice. 
Mix the creme fraiche with the mustard and rest of the dill. 
Combine the diced tomatoes and the rest of the ingredients with the creme fraiche mix and transfer to a pie tin. Roll out the puff pastry and brush with egg white. Lay out Over the tin and roll and press the sides with a fork trimming the excess. With the excess I cut a heart shape and brush on with more egg white. 
💖 Bake for approximately 30/40 mins at 180 or freeze until needed. 
This is good warm from the oven and just as good cooled with a salad. 
The other pie pictured is chicken, squash and wild mushroom pie. It’s a little more faffy but just as nourishing! 
#fooddoula #postnatalnourishment #thefourthtrimester #thefirst40days #whofeedsyou #postnataldoula #doulasupport #motherhood #ahealthybabyisnotallthatmatters
💖Creativity is tool for connection⁠ As I sat 💖Creativity is tool for connection⁠
As I sat and planned some gentle Mothercraft ideas for a new client today I was struck by how much more I have come to value and cherish craft during lockdown life. ⁠
Making things with our hands awakens and deepens our awareness of the beauty and value of them. The slowness, the rhythmic and patient nature of creating something has always been so comforting in what is often a fast paced and loud existence, the comfort and value has grown so much more  during the past 11 months or so. I feel that no matter how simple the craft, how 'non artistic' a person deems themselves, creating and gifting yourself something beautiful always has value and we are ALL born creative, all born an artistic with the ability to create beautiful things with our amazing hands and souls, it's just the value in craft is often lost as we age. For me it's all in the intention, the rhythm of devotion, it's about how it makes you feel. Ultimately in your craft you have birthed something beautiful into the world that didn't exist until you created it and that's just gorgeous isn't it! Consider the preciousness of heirlooms, in the very word itself you feel the sense of a precious thing, though it's value will often be of the heart rather than coin! This embroidery for instance, who poured her love and time into this sweet scene? How much we value a hand made card, a hand written letter. Our precious strings of wooden beads, pressed leaves, pom pom garlands, painted scraps of wood and scruffy hand stitched blankets and rag dolls. Our own Works of art and works of heart matter the, process as much as the result.⁠
#workofheart #mindfullness #creativityforconnection #handcraft #slowliving #mothercraft
Love is all, love is all, love is all. A mantra t Love is all, love is all, love is all. 
A mantra that has served me very well over the past 11 months! 
If serving at the altar of birth and motherhood has taught me anything it’s that the most natural things can be the hardest. Keeping a soft yet strong and open heart is one of those things for me these days. A heart can hold so much and mine feels full to bursting often. It’s sometimes been hard to find love and compassion for myself, accept it from others, find love for others especially those that are hard to love! 
It’s been a struggle to to stay soft and strong on the corona coaster but I continue to remind myself to work and live from the heart.
I believe with all of me that Love is our original state of being, a baby is born to love, born from love, into love and this reminds me all the time that love is all, love is all, love is all 💖
#loveisall #loveisallornotatall #wearelove #doulalove #loveisourtruth #youarelove #softandstrong #motherlove #howmuchaheartcanhold
❤️leading from the feminine 🎶~ liquid bloo ❤️leading from the feminine 
🎶~ liquid bloom, sacred blessing ~
I don’t know about you but during this lockdown finding time alone has been most rare and in those rare moments my time of stillness has often been punctuated by requests for food, answers to questions and you tube videos and memes thrust in to my eye-line! 
❤️Yesterday I was gifted just a couple of hours of breathing space, an empty home, silence and sweet stillness, just a little sacred blessing. As is often our way I quickly slipped into that familiar patriarchal habit of feeling that we must keep active and appear to be ‘productive’ at all times, doing, doing, doing and guilt for not doing enough. I caught myself rushing about cleaning and tidying then felt a little nudge, a call from my heart space to be still and to be led by the feminine. I gave myself a little shake, shook off the doing and became still. I took my Rebecca Campbell oracle cards, sacred feminine incense and connected with my feminine wisdom and surrendered to this sweet time of stillness and those gentle reminders from the cards. How will you gently love yourself today even for just a minute? 
#workyourlightoracle #sacredfeminine #soulenquiry #theeverunfoldingrose #risesisterrise #nourish #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodrising #leadfromthefeminine
🌕Life is all about enjoying the small pleasures 🌕Life is all about enjoying the small pleasures these days. Sitting down after a morning workout for a pot of herbal tea with a book is one of my favourite little rituals. Today is EXTRA special though because the book I am about to open is one I have had the rare honour to follow the progress of over the years and written by my beloved doula sister @eva_shamanic_doula! 
I’m not ashamed to say a few proud tears came when this book arrived. What an inspiration she is and how happy I am that these beautiful thoughts and teachings are out in the world in book form, I know without a doubt that the contents of this book are part of who she is and come from her heart and soul. I’m looking forward to loaning this to my clients who feel drawn to working with the moon in a deeper way during their pregnancy. In anticipation of this book I prepared and saved a special tea for this very occasion! I picked the herbs for drying on the Harvest moon too which feels so special and appropriate. 
As I start to read I can hear her voice and am sending right back to her the brightest of moon beam blessings! ( yes Eva I flipped right to the last pages to read acknowledgements etc first!) 
So today’s simple pleasure has really been a massive one! 
#pregnancybythemoon #moonbeamblessings #sacredpregnancy #doula #doulauk #pregnancybook #doulasisters
❤️ Nourishment ❤️ I love nurturing and nou ❤️ Nourishment ❤️
I love nurturing and nourishing new born mothers. For 10 moons or so she has nourished her baby & will continue to give so much of herself body and soul, it always feels so right to truly nourish her in return. 
True nourishment is about so much more than just filling an empty belly, it’s more than a delicious cookie but can definitely start with one! It’s really about meeting her most basic needs with love, feeding, truly caring for and seeing her. Food made with love and intention nurtures and nourishes in such a special way and on a deep level. You don’t have to have the skills of a trained chef in my opinion, just loving intention. Something simple, intuitive, warming and comforting. A jar of soup, container of cookies or herbal tea left on a doorstep or handed to a partner carries with it so much more than its nutrients, this action is one of the most ancient and heartfelt ways we have of sharing love and appreciation without words during a most tender and open time. 
In a time like this one where physical connection is quite limited sharing the gift of simple nourishment is the perfect way to send deep sister love to a newborn mother. 
#postnatalnourishment #thefourthtrimester #postnatalfood #madewithlove #nursingcookies #foodheals #feedingthemother #motherhood #doula

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