There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you ~ Maya Angelou
A healthy baby is all that matters right?
Wrong! Of course a healthy mother and baby are the ideal outcome, but it's not all that matters. You matter, your experience matter, how you feel and how you felt matters. Your truth matters, every mother matters and I want every one to know that.
Every story has something to offer, something to teach and someone to reach. Your story will resonate with a mother out there searching for just that truth. When we meet each other at heart level and when we share in a safe space it empowers us to heal deeply. Whether your birth was traumatic and intense or positive and empowering it matters. Every mother matters and every story matters. Every story deserves to be heard, the C section mother, the Vbac mother, the NICU mother, the plus size mother, the fast and powerful birther... you get my point, every mother deserves for her her voice, birth and whole experience to be valued.
An important thing to stress and something that I feel quite passionately about is that you don't owe you story to everyone. It's important to share your story in a safe and held space and with people that you feel will receive, respect and honour it without judgement, people that will not tell you that a healthy baby is all that matters or anything else that negates your experience. Just because someone asks for your birth story it doesn't mean you owe it to them. A simple answer that has proved effective for me is I'm actually still processing it but thanks for asking. This goes for your experience of new motherhood too. You deserve to tell the truth about your life and to live your life in your truth, by doing so you inspire others to do the same but must feel safe to speak your truth. This applies to sharing your story out loud or online, in my opinion even writing your story alone calls for a safe quiet space with minimal interruption.
A birth story is so much more than simply the process of how your baby arrived into the world as per our birth notes. It's one of surrender, transformation, pain, joy, vulnerability, trust, love and more, so much more! Your birth is a rite of passage like no other. It's the opening of a transformative chapter into motherhood be it baby number 1, 2, 3 or more. It has the ability to connect you to an amazing collective of women, all of which have the ability to become unlikely teachers, friends and dare I say it a new found sisterhood. When we openly share and connect in this truthful way we empower and inspire each other and ultimately improve birth. Stories teach us about life, about each other and about ourselves. Story telling is an important and ancient tool, connecting us both to our past (ancient and immediate) and provides us with lessons for the future. Basically story telling is built into us.
Share in a way that feels safest, healthiest and most authentic to you. I express my truest voice through art as words don't come naturally to me. You don't have to put a positive spin on your birth, you don't have to be a great writer or artist, your birth could be fresh or it could have been years even decades. It's the process and how it makes you feel that matters most.
One more time, speak this out loud for yourself and let it echo energetically to the collective motherhood Our stories matter!
Places to share your story:
- positive birth, find your local groups or share online https://www.positivebirthmovement.org/
- Tell me a good birth story http://www.tellmeagoodbirthstory.com/
- invest in the wonderful book by Jamie Fieres 'Why writing about your birth matters'
- Or for something a little special, contact me to discuss having a personal piece of art created to honour you birth story https://thebirthgem.co.uk/birth-art-mandala-and-belly-painting/