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Connection and crafting for well being in motherhood

4th trimester & motherhood

24 Feb

Connection always matters and motherhood is no exception. Gathering together to share, support and create can be a incredibly bonding and therapeutic experience. The scene of women gathered together over crafts is an ancient one. Women coming together and sharing crafts transcends time, class and culture, a craft is something that can be passed down through generations of women, creating a deep connection through time. The ritual act of coming together in a circle of women for craft is powerful and having an intention such as creating gives everyone a joint purpose, a security and a root or sense of groundedness. Years ago this gathering in the community of women would be the perfect space to share, to ask for and to give advice, to air grievances, or to generally just connect and vent if they needed to.  If a woman was struggling in her life or in motherhood in any way then she would be unlikely to go unnoticed and could tap into the web of support from her community. Though this image may seem like an ancient memory for us today this is what some cultures still experience, usually for wares to sell or as a part of daily life such as canning or daily chores in the Amish communities, a productive and social coming together of women.

Historically thanks to a male dominated society for a long time women's art was confined to traditional craft or ‘domestic art’, it was anonymous, made by the every woman or many women, which created a beautiful secret language among them in many ways. 

A perfect example of this is woven into the history of quilting. Made by the hands of many unknown women, the quilt makers created an abstract language all of their own. Flowers, shapes and colours all held significance, I can imagine this would have created a bond between the women of the communities that created them, something that belonged to just them. 

One example of the power of crafting together today is In Pasadena, a women's refuge has recently revived this colonial pastime of quilting to help build a supportive community and to bring the women together. Project co coordinator Linda shared that she chose quilting because ‘sewing is creative and utilitarian. It’s a traditional way for women to come together and talk about stories and memories’. They each sign and contribute to a journal, one woman wrote;

“You can feel the warmth of it. It’s a particularly symbolic thing to create something and tie it together,” 

Today science backs up that deep feeling and knowing that crafting is good for the brain,studies have shown that it’s linked with the release of dopamine, it encourages neural pathways in our brains, reduces anxiety and cultivates connection. The social support and positive relationships and feelings created while crafting in a group are so very valuable. I urge you to cast aside the notion that you have to be ‘good’ at art to enjoy creating it and reject the assumption that you aren’t in any way creative. We are all creative beings at heart, especially during pregnancy and into motherhood, the time that a woman is the ultimate creatrix is the perfect time for creativity, aside from the awakening and opening that she is experiencing something quite special is happening in her body.  The flood of neurochemicals such as Oxycontin, endorphins, adrenaline and relaxin make a woman more dreamy and open to creativity, not just for months but for years! 

 Another interesting fact is that during pregnancy and the postnatal season the altered sleep, dream and wake patterns of a woman result in brain waves that are closely associated with creativity. Repeated research has shown that the added blood flow to the vagina and uterus (our creative centre) during pregnancy and postnatal period has shown to activate the corresponding parts of the brain connected to creativity, aren’t women just amazing! So my point is you are creative even if you feel that you aren’t, accept the creative renaissance of motherhood! Ref - The rainbow way, Lucy H Pearce 

Motherhood while being an amazing and transformative season can also become a very lonely time filled with anxiety and intense emotion. The reality for mothers today can feel quite an isolated one, programmed to feel she has to ‘bounce back’ and merely get through it. In what can feel like an existence of endless giving a mother can quite easily burn out, lacking in balance, satisfaction and connection. It shouldn’t be and doesn’t have to be like this, mothers need other mothers. They may seem so different the mothers around you, the mothers you assume have it all together, the mothers you assume belong to a different ‘tribe’ but underneath it all we are made of the same magic and we all have something to offer one another. 

When women gather in circle  to craft and connect with each other I always witness a deep remembering taking place. Something ancient, bonding, meaningful and natural, that feeling of the ‘village’ that all mothers need and crave is created consciously or unconsciously, it just happens so naturally.

Creating and experiencing art is an anchor and an instrument of a nurtured heart. It’s an affirmation in a world of many distractions, it’s a refuge and a feeding of spirit. Creating expresses, communicates, encourages and has meaning. It can say so much and bring a group together with no need for words if you don’t wish to speak them. Art has the potential to open not just the heart of the creator but also the hearts around her. In the creating space there is no need for data, measurements, weighing and percentiles. It’s a space to simply be, creating in a group reminds you that you are not an island, it makes connection irresistible and brings you back to that most natural creative and loving state.

In more ways than one, women talk in circles: Conversation takes a spiral shape in it’s subjective exploration of every subject. Listening, witnessing, role modelling, reacting, deepening, mirroring, laughing, crying, grieving, drawing upon experience, and sharing wisdom of experience, women in circles support each other and discover themselves through talk. 

Jean Shinoda Bolen, The millionth circle 

Bottom line is this and I believe and know it with all my heart, connection matters, we need it, in motherhood arguably more than ever. The term well being is thrown around a lot but I believe that the simple act of gathering together over a craft is good for a mother’s (or anyone's) well being. Quite often the energy required for motherhood is exhausting, a gentle craft shared with other women requires very little energy, it’s a restful and restorative way to spend your time. It’s easier to open up in a safe creative space such as this and it creates a gift you give yourself. Like I said before Creating, sharing  and experiencing art is an anchor. No mother is an island. 

This is why I have created Mothercraft, a fortnightly motherhood sharing circle with seasonal arts and crafts. I warmly invite mothers to come together to share, connect and create in a fun, held and loving space where every mother is welcome. 

Connect with me on instagram @doulagemma and join our growing group on facebook positive motherhood tribe to look out for upcoming mothercraft circles and to connect and share. Let’s create! 

Love Gemma 

www.thebirthgem.co.uk 

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Belly bump cakes, birth art, flower baths and more Belly bump cakes, birth art, flower baths and more. This work week has been so full and gorgeous, lucky me that this is my life! 💖
So yesterday I had to re centre myself and remake a belly bump cake with iced mandala which means my family will have to work their way through the unusual treat of a ruined belly bump cake... lucky them, it’s going to take a while to get through! 😆 
This cake will be on its way to @eva_shamanic_doula this morning to join her in a mother’s blessing complete with handmade ivy circlet. 
💖Enjoy the cake beautiful ones 💖
#mothersblessing #blessingway #sacredpregnancy #doula #mandalacake #vegancake #motherlove #birthmandala #redthread
❤️ Thaw ❤️ Over the land freckled with sno ❤️ Thaw ❤️
Over the land freckled with snow half - thawed 
The speculating rooks at their nests cawed 
And saw from the elm-tops, delicate as flower of grass, What we below could not see, Winter pass. 
🌱I’m not sure about you but I’ve never looked forward more than I have done this winter! The approach of Spring always brings with it optimism but this year it has a whole different energy to it. As I walked today I noticed the signs of new growth, so much beauty to be appreciated. The colours, subtle, vibrant and just so much potential. I thought about the energy and life stored in the seed, so quiet yet powerful and full of potential. A fertile void creating it’s magic just below the soil in the dark, much like in our inner own winters. Of course I couldn’t help but think of birth! How lucky I am to witness and be a part of one of nature’s most miraculous cycles, a most sacred reminder that we do not just live among nature. We are nature. 
Our true nature is ever changing, what is blossoming for you right now? What are you looking forward to? #sacredbirth #innerseasons #spring #wearenature #birthdoula #doulauk #motherhood #blossom #sacredfeminine #nurturenature #whispersfrommotherearth #walksinnature
Pie is one of the most perfect postnatal meals to Pie is one of the most perfect postnatal meals to gift. So much goodness can be encased in a buttery pastry crust! 
One of today’s pies is 
💖Scandi inspired salmon pie 
Ingredients:
400g - 500 salmon fillet cubed 
1tsp, pepper, salt, fennel seed, caster sugar
3rsp fresh chopped dill
120 Pearl barley cooked 
1 small diced red onion
Juice of lemon 
150g wilted spinach leaves 
100g chopped sundried tomatoes 
140g creme fraiche 
2tsp whole grain mustard 
1 pack puffed pastry or homemade 
💖 Method 
Put diced salmon in bowl with pepper, salt, fennel, sugar, half the dill. 
Cook and strain the Pearl barely and wilt the spinach, set aside. Put the onion in a bowl with the lemon juice. 
Mix the creme fraiche with the mustard and rest of the dill. 
Combine the diced tomatoes and the rest of the ingredients with the creme fraiche mix and transfer to a pie tin. Roll out the puff pastry and brush with egg white. Lay out Over the tin and roll and press the sides with a fork trimming the excess. With the excess I cut a heart shape and brush on with more egg white. 
💖 Bake for approximately 30/40 mins at 180 or freeze until needed. 
This is good warm from the oven and just as good cooled with a salad. 
The other pie pictured is chicken, squash and wild mushroom pie. It’s a little more faffy but just as nourishing! 
#fooddoula #postnatalnourishment #thefourthtrimester #thefirst40days #whofeedsyou #postnataldoula #doulasupport #motherhood #ahealthybabyisnotallthatmatters
💖Creativity is tool for connection⁠ As I sat 💖Creativity is tool for connection⁠
As I sat and planned some gentle Mothercraft ideas for a new client today I was struck by how much more I have come to value and cherish craft during lockdown life. ⁠
Making things with our hands awakens and deepens our awareness of the beauty and value of them. The slowness, the rhythmic and patient nature of creating something has always been so comforting in what is often a fast paced and loud existence, the comfort and value has grown so much more  during the past 11 months or so. I feel that no matter how simple the craft, how 'non artistic' a person deems themselves, creating and gifting yourself something beautiful always has value and we are ALL born creative, all born an artistic with the ability to create beautiful things with our amazing hands and souls, it's just the value in craft is often lost as we age. For me it's all in the intention, the rhythm of devotion, it's about how it makes you feel. Ultimately in your craft you have birthed something beautiful into the world that didn't exist until you created it and that's just gorgeous isn't it! Consider the preciousness of heirlooms, in the very word itself you feel the sense of a precious thing, though it's value will often be of the heart rather than coin! This embroidery for instance, who poured her love and time into this sweet scene? How much we value a hand made card, a hand written letter. Our precious strings of wooden beads, pressed leaves, pom pom garlands, painted scraps of wood and scruffy hand stitched blankets and rag dolls. Our own Works of art and works of heart matter the, process as much as the result.⁠
#workofheart #mindfullness #creativityforconnection #handcraft #slowliving #mothercraft
Love is all, love is all, love is all. A mantra t Love is all, love is all, love is all. 
A mantra that has served me very well over the past 11 months! 
If serving at the altar of birth and motherhood has taught me anything it’s that the most natural things can be the hardest. Keeping a soft yet strong and open heart is one of those things for me these days. A heart can hold so much and mine feels full to bursting often. It’s sometimes been hard to find love and compassion for myself, accept it from others, find love for others especially those that are hard to love! 
It’s been a struggle to to stay soft and strong on the corona coaster but I continue to remind myself to work and live from the heart.
I believe with all of me that Love is our original state of being, a baby is born to love, born from love, into love and this reminds me all the time that love is all, love is all, love is all 💖
#loveisall #loveisallornotatall #wearelove #doulalove #loveisourtruth #youarelove #softandstrong #motherlove #howmuchaheartcanhold
❤️leading from the feminine 🎶~ liquid bloo ❤️leading from the feminine 
🎶~ liquid bloom, sacred blessing ~
I don’t know about you but during this lockdown finding time alone has been most rare and in those rare moments my time of stillness has often been punctuated by requests for food, answers to questions and you tube videos and memes thrust in to my eye-line! 
❤️Yesterday I was gifted just a couple of hours of breathing space, an empty home, silence and sweet stillness, just a little sacred blessing. As is often our way I quickly slipped into that familiar patriarchal habit of feeling that we must keep active and appear to be ‘productive’ at all times, doing, doing, doing and guilt for not doing enough. I caught myself rushing about cleaning and tidying then felt a little nudge, a call from my heart space to be still and to be led by the feminine. I gave myself a little shake, shook off the doing and became still. I took my Rebecca Campbell oracle cards, sacred feminine incense and connected with my feminine wisdom and surrendered to this sweet time of stillness and those gentle reminders from the cards. How will you gently love yourself today even for just a minute? 
#workyourlightoracle #sacredfeminine #soulenquiry #theeverunfoldingrose #risesisterrise #nourish #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodrising #leadfromthefeminine
🌕Life is all about enjoying the small pleasures 🌕Life is all about enjoying the small pleasures these days. Sitting down after a morning workout for a pot of herbal tea with a book is one of my favourite little rituals. Today is EXTRA special though because the book I am about to open is one I have had the rare honour to follow the progress of over the years and written by my beloved doula sister @eva_shamanic_doula! 
I’m not ashamed to say a few proud tears came when this book arrived. What an inspiration she is and how happy I am that these beautiful thoughts and teachings are out in the world in book form, I know without a doubt that the contents of this book are part of who she is and come from her heart and soul. I’m looking forward to loaning this to my clients who feel drawn to working with the moon in a deeper way during their pregnancy. In anticipation of this book I prepared and saved a special tea for this very occasion! I picked the herbs for drying on the Harvest moon too which feels so special and appropriate. 
As I start to read I can hear her voice and am sending right back to her the brightest of moon beam blessings! ( yes Eva I flipped right to the last pages to read acknowledgements etc first!) 
So today’s simple pleasure has really been a massive one! 
#pregnancybythemoon #moonbeamblessings #sacredpregnancy #doula #doulauk #pregnancybook #doulasisters
❤️ Nourishment ❤️ I love nurturing and nou ❤️ Nourishment ❤️
I love nurturing and nourishing new born mothers. For 10 moons or so she has nourished her baby & will continue to give so much of herself body and soul, it always feels so right to truly nourish her in return. 
True nourishment is about so much more than just filling an empty belly, it’s more than a delicious cookie but can definitely start with one! It’s really about meeting her most basic needs with love, feeding, truly caring for and seeing her. Food made with love and intention nurtures and nourishes in such a special way and on a deep level. You don’t have to have the skills of a trained chef in my opinion, just loving intention. Something simple, intuitive, warming and comforting. A jar of soup, container of cookies or herbal tea left on a doorstep or handed to a partner carries with it so much more than its nutrients, this action is one of the most ancient and heartfelt ways we have of sharing love and appreciation without words during a most tender and open time. 
In a time like this one where physical connection is quite limited sharing the gift of simple nourishment is the perfect way to send deep sister love to a newborn mother. 
#postnatalnourishment #thefourthtrimester #postnatalfood #madewithlove #nursingcookies #foodheals #feedingthemother #motherhood #doula

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