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Connection and crafting for well being in motherhood

4th trimester & motherhood

24 Feb

Connection always matters and motherhood is no exception. Gathering together to share, support and create can be a incredibly bonding and therapeutic experience. The scene of women gathered together over crafts is an ancient one. Women coming together and sharing crafts transcends time, class and culture, a craft is something that can be passed down through generations of women, creating a deep connection through time. The ritual act of coming together in a circle of women for craft is powerful and having an intention such as creating gives everyone a joint purpose, a security and a root or sense of groundedness. Years ago this gathering in the community of women would be the perfect space to share, to ask for and to give advice, to air grievances, or to generally just connect and vent if they needed to.  If a woman was struggling in her life or in motherhood in any way then she would be unlikely to go unnoticed and could tap into the web of support from her community. Though this image may seem like an ancient memory for us today this is what some cultures still experience, usually for wares to sell or as a part of daily life such as canning or daily chores in the Amish communities, a productive and social coming together of women.

Historically thanks to a male dominated society for a long time women's art was confined to traditional craft or ‘domestic art’, it was anonymous, made by the every woman or many women, which created a beautiful secret language among them in many ways. 

A perfect example of this is woven into the history of quilting. Made by the hands of many unknown women, the quilt makers created an abstract language all of their own. Flowers, shapes and colours all held significance, I can imagine this would have created a bond between the women of the communities that created them, something that belonged to just them. 

One example of the power of crafting together today is In Pasadena, a women's refuge has recently revived this colonial pastime of quilting to help build a supportive community and to bring the women together. Project co coordinator Linda shared that she chose quilting because ‘sewing is creative and utilitarian. It’s a traditional way for women to come together and talk about stories and memories’. They each sign and contribute to a journal, one woman wrote;

“You can feel the warmth of it. It’s a particularly symbolic thing to create something and tie it together,” 

Today science backs up that deep feeling and knowing that crafting is good for the brain,studies have shown that it’s linked with the release of dopamine, it encourages neural pathways in our brains, reduces anxiety and cultivates connection. The social support and positive relationships and feelings created while crafting in a group are so very valuable. I urge you to cast aside the notion that you have to be ‘good’ at art to enjoy creating it and reject the assumption that you aren’t in any way creative. We are all creative beings at heart, especially during pregnancy and into motherhood, the time that a woman is the ultimate creatrix is the perfect time for creativity, aside from the awakening and opening that she is experiencing something quite special is happening in her body.  The flood of neurochemicals such as Oxycontin, endorphins, adrenaline and relaxin make a woman more dreamy and open to creativity, not just for months but for years! 

 Another interesting fact is that during pregnancy and the postnatal season the altered sleep, dream and wake patterns of a woman result in brain waves that are closely associated with creativity. Repeated research has shown that the added blood flow to the vagina and uterus (our creative centre) during pregnancy and postnatal period has shown to activate the corresponding parts of the brain connected to creativity, aren’t women just amazing! So my point is you are creative even if you feel that you aren’t, accept the creative renaissance of motherhood! Ref - The rainbow way, Lucy H Pearce 

Motherhood while being an amazing and transformative season can also become a very lonely time filled with anxiety and intense emotion. The reality for mothers today can feel quite an isolated one, programmed to feel she has to ‘bounce back’ and merely get through it. In what can feel like an existence of endless giving a mother can quite easily burn out, lacking in balance, satisfaction and connection. It shouldn’t be and doesn’t have to be like this, mothers need other mothers. They may seem so different the mothers around you, the mothers you assume have it all together, the mothers you assume belong to a different ‘tribe’ but underneath it all we are made of the same magic and we all have something to offer one another. 

When women gather in circle  to craft and connect with each other I always witness a deep remembering taking place. Something ancient, bonding, meaningful and natural, that feeling of the ‘village’ that all mothers need and crave is created consciously or unconsciously, it just happens so naturally.

Creating and experiencing art is an anchor and an instrument of a nurtured heart. It’s an affirmation in a world of many distractions, it’s a refuge and a feeding of spirit. Creating expresses, communicates, encourages and has meaning. It can say so much and bring a group together with no need for words if you don’t wish to speak them. Art has the potential to open not just the heart of the creator but also the hearts around her. In the creating space there is no need for data, measurements, weighing and percentiles. It’s a space to simply be, creating in a group reminds you that you are not an island, it makes connection irresistible and brings you back to that most natural creative and loving state.

In more ways than one, women talk in circles: Conversation takes a spiral shape in it’s subjective exploration of every subject. Listening, witnessing, role modelling, reacting, deepening, mirroring, laughing, crying, grieving, drawing upon experience, and sharing wisdom of experience, women in circles support each other and discover themselves through talk. 

Jean Shinoda Bolen, The millionth circle 

Bottom line is this and I believe and know it with all my heart, connection matters, we need it, in motherhood arguably more than ever. The term well being is thrown around a lot but I believe that the simple act of gathering together over a craft is good for a mother’s (or anyone's) well being. Quite often the energy required for motherhood is exhausting, a gentle craft shared with other women requires very little energy, it’s a restful and restorative way to spend your time. It’s easier to open up in a safe creative space such as this and it creates a gift you give yourself. Like I said before Creating, sharing  and experiencing art is an anchor. No mother is an island. 

This is why I have created Mothercraft, a fortnightly motherhood sharing circle with seasonal arts and crafts. I warmly invite mothers to come together to share, connect and create in a fun, held and loving space where every mother is welcome. 

Connect with me on instagram @doulagemma and join our growing group on facebook positive motherhood tribe to look out for upcoming mothercraft circles and to connect and share. Let’s create! 

Love Gemma 

www.thebirthgem.co.uk 

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❤️ Raw vegan brownie ❤️ Good fats & magnes ❤️ Raw vegan brownie ❤️ Good fats & magnesium a plenty here.
Date full and soooo good, the perfect birth room snack for energy and a perfect treat for your postnatal nest. So easy to prepare even for those who claim that they can’t cook, and this freezes well too. I make these for my love to take to work as well as for my clients. If I’ve served you you’ll likely recognise them! 
I’m not one for measuring but that doesn’t matter here as you just adjust this until you reach the right amount of squidgy ness for it to press into the pan. Today I used pecans for the base but have used other nuts and oats before. 
❤️Ingredients
2 cup pecan 
2 cup dates (I used medjool) 
6 tbsp cacao powder 
2 tbsp maple syrup 
100g bar dark choc 
❤️Method 
Line a square pan with grease proof paper.
Put 2 cup nuts in blender and blitz until fine.
Add the rest of the ingredients and blitz until it kind of comes together. Test it by scooping out a small amount and see if it all sticks together well. 
Spoon into the pan and press down with the back of a spoon until even. 
Freeze for 30 mins. 
Melt the chocolate in a bowl over a pan of simmering water. 
Pour onto the brownie *optional* top with crushed toasted nuts, a sprinkle of sea salt and dried rose petals. 
I happened to have a little of the trail mix I made left so used nuts from that but I recommend you get playful with it. Grated orange zest and coconut is good, any edible flower looks divine, goji berries or nothing at all. 
#rawbrownie #rawvegan #postnatal #the4thtrimester #theforst40days #brownies #recipeshare #feedwithlove #fooddoula #postnatalpantry #easyrecipes
I am absolutely disgusted by todays news and my he I am absolutely disgusted by todays news and my heart goes out to the people of the US most of who do not want this. But here they are, forced back to a time that should never have to be experienced again, the rights that so many women fought for over so many decades undone . Abortion is health care and restricting access to it does not make it go away, it only makes it more dangerous and life threatening as history has already shown, definitely most dangerous to the most vulnerable in society. This is just criminal, cruel and inhumane, people will die thanks to this vile decision. Just chilling really, We could see it coming and yet I am still shocked. You know all this and everything else I want to say of course and many could put it more eloquently but wow. Maybe one day women in America will have as many rights as a man that wants to carry a gun on his waistband?? 
To echo @hannah.dahlen , to those who say ‘only in America’ Since when has America not influenced the world?
“We are not without actions that we can take. We need to have hope, but we need to hang on to this anger because we can use that anger to fuel change,” ~ Elizabeth Warren 
#abortionishealthcare #womenshealth #roevwade #reversingroe #abortionrightsarehumanrights #wombwisdom
❤️Horchata where have you been all my life!? L ❤️Horchata where have you been all my life!?
Likely the roots of the plant milks we use a lot these days Horchata is a popular and often vegan drink usually served over ice throughout Spain, Puerto Rico, Central America & Mexico. It’s essentially a spiced and sweetened nut milk, traditionally tiger nuts it seems and strained just like other plant based milks. It struck me that a lot of the healing, comforting recipes I love from around the world include milk and rice, how comforting this would be alongside congee. During my self nurturing time I got a little playful with it and prepared a herbal Horchata for lung health, energy and immunity. It takes a while with the overnight soaking but is so worth it, I had mine this morning in my smoothie and will likely incorporate it into a few different dishes! I look forward to experimenting with variations on this gorgeous creamy drink, rose would be divine! 
Herbal Horchata - 
make an 8 cup serving of Mullein tea/ tonic (6 tbsp mullein 1tbsp dried ginseng root 8 cup boiled water steep 20 min) strain and set aside
❤️Ingredients 
1 cup cooked white or brown rice
1 cup almonds
1/4 cup marshmallow root 
6 tbsp dried mullein 
2 cinnamon stick 
1tbsp dried ginseng 
8 cup boiled water for the tea
4 dates or a couple tbsp maple syrup ( I used magnolia syrup)
1 - 2 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup coconut milk
❤️method 
Soak the rice, nuts, cinnamon marshmallow root in the strained tea in the fridge overnight. 
In the morning transfer all the ingredients except the coconut milk to a blender and blitz. 
Pour through a mesh then a plant milk bag (I found this easier and less messy!) Then whisk in the coconut milk. 
Taste and add sweetness to your own taste but for me this was perfect dusted with cinnamon to serve. 
Enjoy! 
#horchata #herbalhorchata #comfortfood #herbaltea #plantbased #healing #nurturing #plantwisdom #mullein #ginseng #selfnurture #selfcare #radicalselflove
Happy birthing day to this absolute goddess! The s Happy birthing day to this absolute goddess! The surprise, joy and bliss in these pictures says it all. She waited so long and worked so hard to achieve the home birth of her dreams and achieved it. During the peak of covid lockdown #1 no less! 
I’ll celebrate you every year @s1naed and your absolute glory as I know you’re going to be busy with the double birthday! (Yes this mama only likes to have her babies on June 22nd )😆
This queen waited so long to meet her baby. When your 1st born arrived unexpectedly early going ‘post dates’ feels endless! So she waited, so full of baby in the heat and with the unique never before experienced challenge of parenting during the restrictions of a pandemic. We joked about baby choosing his siblings birthday to arrive on and of course it happened, the birth goddesses have a great sense of humour 😆
To support you on your journey as you achieved the birth you deserved was an absolute honour. I remember you saying that your biggest wish was to just go about your day and meet your baby. No fuss, no interference and I’d say you exceeded that. You took what you needed, left the rest and birthed your way, like an absolute goddess worshipped by your love and served by us just as it should be. Sending some big love out to you today, 
@s1naed YOU. ARE. AMAZING! 
#homebirth #birthworks #empowered #empoweredbirth #positivebirth #birthstory #waterbirth #birthdoula #birthingday #sacredbirth #birthyourway
💖Summer solstice essences 🌞 There couldn’t 💖Summer solstice essences 🌞
There couldn’t be a more perfect morning than summer solstice morning to lovingly gather blooms and make some flower essences and plant remedies. I believe that there is so, so much nature wants to teach and gift us if we are open and curious. After all we do not just live in nature we are nature. Having missed a trip to London today to see an exhibition on the divine feminine I found it in my garden. 
The radiant nourishing energy of the rose and sun are what I need to embrace right now so in the gorgeous light of today these soft divine flowers sit with local spring water in this crystal bowl for a while before the quiet ritual of bottling the essence at sunset. The appropriately named queen of flowers, Rose is such a heart opening, feminine and divine flower, i’m quite in love with her! There are a few reasons, the scent being just one that this magical flower is used so heavily in sacred art legend and poetry. you’ll see it revered, honoured and appreciated throughout time and across the world, attached to mother Mary, Aphrodite, Venus, Joun, Lakshimi and more. This year I have resisted gathering my roses for all my recipes and remedies right away, I have instead practiced patience and appreciation but today felt right to gather… not to mention I finally had the energy after being unwell. The energy of the solstice certainly worked for me today! 
Some of you that have been served by me through summer months might remember these roses and their gorgeous scent as I would often gift them and treats made with them 💖
#roses #divinefeminine #floweressences #giftsfrommotherearth #flowerpower #thepowerofplants #youarenature #plantmagic #greenwitch #keepyourheartopen #plantremedies
Just some beautiful photography from the birth roo Just some beautiful photography from the birth room in honour of Father’s Day. 
How lucky we are in birth work that we get to witness such rare and precious moments of becoming. Sending love to all the dads out there that advocated and held safe space, surrendered, held tired birthing bodies, wiped brows and tears, bravely scrubbed up for c sections, held each other as they became dads together, crouched next to their nicu babes and waited, love to you all ❤️
1. Amelia Lyon - Having a chat with Daddy 
2. Brooke Walsh - “These dads waited for so long for their baby — born via surrogate at a birth center — that they were just completely overcome with joy when they finally got to hold him.”
3. Maggie Trice - “This mother had been laboring for about 12 hours at this point and was absolutely exhausted. She was entering into transition, so each contraction was getting even more intense. Mic, the father, leaned in to pull her in close as she came down from the last contraction, wiping her tears from her cheeks. It was truly one of the sweetest moments I’ve ever captured between a mom and dad.”
#fathersday #dadsinthebirthroom #birthofafather #riteofpassage #dadsinbirth #birthphotography #birth #doula
It’s a hot one today mamas! I’m re sharing tip It’s a hot one today mamas! I’m re sharing tips on how to stay cool if you’re pregnant during a heatwave, this year using a pic of the gorgeous pregnant Rihanna in Barbados! We can’t all take advantage of the sea… or escape to Barbados so do comment with your own tips if you have any! 🌞 Stay hydrated! Keep a bottle of water with you at all time’s and drink regularly even at night. I know frequent loo trips aren’t fun but neither is dehydration!
🌞 wear loose, light coloured clothing in natural fabrics like linen and cotton, synthetics don’t help with heat. if you want to be covered then floaty beach dresses are great. If you’re not too bothered and at home then a bikini, pants or nothing will do! 🌞 Avoid being in the sun for long periods, get shade often and keep a spray bottle or the mist spray fan (in pic 2) nearby. Keep your body spritz bottle in the fridge overnight, rose water is perfect to spritz yourself with on a hot day, a relaxing and luxurious scent and great for the skin on top of being refreshing! If not available then chilled water will do just fine. Relaxing like a beautiful mermaid in a paddling pool is also a fab way to keep cool! 🌞 pregnancy is tiring in normal weather, in a heatwave more so, take it easy and rest with your feet higher than your heart for at least an hour a day. If your ankles and feet are prone to swelling do gentle rotations of the joints and alternate with chill packs on the joints ( the gel kind) and the back of the neck, basically wherever feels good. If you have willing hands don’t be shy, ask for a massage!
🌞 A few tips for a more comfortable nights sleep. Freezer blocks in your sheets for a while before bed can be very refreshing. Putting your sheet folded in the freezer for an hour before bed. A hot water bottle filled with ice cold water on your feet in bed with you can be very soothing. A fan in front of a bowl of ice, its worth noting that thr breeze of the fan can be quite irritating on your skin while pregnant. 
Take care of you and take it easy you beautiful mamas! 
#keepingcool #heatwaveandpregnancy #pregnancytips #pregnantinthesummer #keepcool #pregnantinaheatwave #pregnantgoddess #doulatips #rhianna
Doula down! The Postnatal Pantry and face to face Doula down! 
The Postnatal Pantry and face to face appointments are shut for the week while I practice what I preach and nurture myself. 
I once again tried to ignore the whispers of my body until they became calls ironically in the form of me losing my voice. This is something I have to re learn often as a lot of us do I’m sure but this path is a spiral and theirs always a deeper lesson in the revisiting of lessons. 
In this day of self nurturing after last nights wise full moon 🌕 I’m dipping into my healing plants both fresh from the garden and dried, drinking lots of greens and giving my body some care in the way of gentle stretching, self massage and a good soak with flowers of course. 
How do you care for yourself when your run down? Do you power through until you crash? What little self nurturing practices can you add into your life? 
Something as small as this green smoothie inspired me to take some time to rest and recharge this week. 
#selfcare #selfnurturing #listentoyourbody #youmatter #greensmoothie #plants #healingplants

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